Duane Spills the Beans

Over on Caseyhaterz.com, Duane begins to spill the whole saga. Note the slipping between third person and first person, such as

She did not want her parents to continue to spend more money paying for me to just "explore."

Here are links to the individual Duane posts with excerpts so you can skip over all the noisy comments from others. Note that each link is to Caseyhaterz.com, and you'll need a login there to read the full post.

The SLOW TRANSFORMATION BEGINS
Casey did not express disappointment with her before the wedding except for two times. Once, he got upset with her for not taking the exercise routine he made for them seriously enough. G would work out with him, but did not always follow his every training command. He wanted to be her fitness trainer, but she just wanted to work out in her own way. For some reason, that really ticked him off. The second time, he took her out and brought himself to tell her that it bothered him that she gained 4 1/2 pounds since she got a new job.

Wedding & Honeymoon
At one point, he dropped in spirit and expressed thoughts of regret regarding the marriage he had just entered into a few days earlier. He was having second thoughts and said that marrying HER MAY have been a MISTAKE. Think about this… on your honeymoon, the guy gets cold feet… sound familiar – CONTRACT!!!

Gift Money
When they got back to Sacramento they went straight to the bank because apparently Casey’s bank account was in several hundred dollars negative. G still had her separate account, this account was not yet joined. He started telling her that the account is negative and he needs around $700 to bring it to positive. He said that he needs to use the wedding gift money for that.

Dipping into the credit cards
Casey would work on consulting projects here and there, but they weren't quite making it with the bills. They would visit the mail box often looking for "the check." For some reason several checks would either “get lost” and would have to be “resent” to them or they would take weeks to make it to their address.

The debt snowballs
She called her mom one night and shared with her the amount of their debt. When she hung up the phone, Casey WAS MAD and told her that he did not like her sharing their financial problems with their parents, that “we should deal with this on our own and not talk to others about it.”

Business Partners
Like when I kept wanting to set up a business plan on paper, he'd get irritated and say that his business plan is in his head and what's the point of setting up a business plan if you don't know what kind of opportunity would come up next month.” She felt pushed out, so she would back off a bit, and then he'd complain that “I'm not involved enough, so I'd try to get more involved, then he'd hold back, and push me out, and I'd back off again because I HATE the feeling of being a burden and being in someone's space when I'm not welcome, and it would go on for the entire 3 years like this.

More marriage regrets
Casey kept saying that G was the wrong personality for him, G was TOO "safe", too careful, not a risk taker enough, too fat, not sexy enough, not a go-getter, not into finances enough, not health food oriented enough, too quiet, not talkative enough, G’s hair was not dramatic enough, and then when G tried to change her hair, “then my hair was too short....etc... that basically there was something deeply wrong with me being the way I was. And I BELIEVED him! I genuinely thought I was born the wrong way, and I kept trying to meet his needs this whole time. “

Getting a job
At that time we were already planning to move to Roseville. Casey got the job in Roseville as a programmer paying $50K per year.

Galina gets a job
I worked there for a couple months until I was offered a position paying $4 more per hour, so I obviously took it and started the new job at the end of November 2005. I was making $15 per hour at the new job and casey started talking about living just on my income so that he could quit his job to work the business. I did not feel comfortable with that...it was a new job, who knows how stable it would be.

Casey considers leaving
During that summer, he started talking about leaving. He said this marriage may have been a mistake, he just does not want to be tied up, he wants to be free to just get up and go do his thing without having to think about another person.

Lonely in Marriage
I was married but unloved. I wanted so desperately to be important to him, but he just never seemed to care much, or to deeply connect much.

Duane also alleges that Casey went on a 5 week "break" from the marriage and had at least two "dates" 1.5 years ago